Insectoid Alien Encounter and My Miraculous Healing Experience

This image is not exact, they were very dark brown but the arms are correct, the back segment was longer and rounder like an ant. I felt nothing but love and care from them.

My interaction goes something like this. I was diagnoses with a 40 mm Lipoma in my sigmoid colon in October of 2020.

After an MRI to confirm it was only in my bowel and not invading my abdomen. The plan then was to go in and "Deroof" it (scrape it out). I did a meditation and suddenly awoke on an alien ship and these loving kind insectoid beings that looked similar to the picture I pieced together were working on my bowel while the main one engaged me and made sure I knew I was not in danger. When I came out of the mediation I was in my bed.

 It was another six months before I went in to have the tumor removed. So, lipomas so not shrink on their own. in fact they continue to grow until they are removed. So I go in to have it removed and even though they gave me sedation I was fully awake through the procedure. My Lipoma was 10 MM and they decided not to risk perforating my bowel and left it in place. 

About a year ago I met them in another meditation session and this time they told me they were my personal physicians in the galaxy. This time they were flying. So that is my story of meeting the insectoid creatures and the healing they did for me.

Part 7: The move: Age 14-16

 I moved to the coast to live with my mom and step dad in June of 1979, I was still 14 years old. One of the first things I remember about the new place was that my step dad insisted on teaching me how to change a tire which I thought was a little ahead of schedule as I wouldn't be able to drive for another two years. The house we lived in was a dump and should have been condemned. It had only a woodstove for heat so I had to learn how to start a fire if I didn't want to be cold. My bedroom barely had a door that closed and there was only room for a bed. I still got the creepy feeling from my step dad so I tried to stay away from him. The good part was I was walking distance to my grandparents house and I had a few cousins that lived not too far away as well. I fantasized about running away to California and becoming a prostitute. I would get these Fredericks of Hollywood catalogs and think about wearing all that sexy clothing. I had already figured out sex was all men wanted. The only good thing about my life at that point was I had my dog Trish to keep me company.

Trish and A little Girl my mom babysat Heidi

Within a few days of arriving my mom and step dad arranged for me to go out with this guy in his 30's. He had a CB radio and I was chatting with this guy and the one I was with agreed to take me to meet the guy on the CB radio at the drive in. He was really cute and only 18. He asked me out and my mom agreed to let me go out with him. So every Friday he would come pick me up and we would go to the drive in. I also too a job in a restaurant that summer, lying about my age. So I stayed pretty busy that summer. The 18 year old was s till a virgin so I was not pressured to have sex with hm and that was nice as at this point I still wanted to be selective. 

My mother always asked me to let her know when I got home from my dates and so after one date I knocked on her door and she didn't answer so I opened it and caught my mother in the act with my step father. I was so embarrassed I ran out and into the bathroom to wash my face. My mom came after me and she asked me if I was okay, but all I could say was "You make funny noises". SLAP right across my face. I was not expecting that. However, later it opened up a conversation that would help me later when it came to sex. 

So summer was flying by, on a couple of my days off from work at the restaurant my mom and step dad took me camping with some friends of theirs. There were a couple of boys near my age camping too and they had a dirt bike. One boy (who I think had a crush on me) taught me how to ride the motorcycle and it was so fun. but when we got back to camp I suddenly could not remember how to stop and almost ran over my step dad. oops. 

Then it was time for the annual fair and I ended up having to work some of it which upset my boyfriend as he felt I should have been at the fair with him. When I did get to go to the fair he ignored me as he was tending his families cows so I was wandering around and got asked to go in the dunk tank. I thought it would be fun and said sure. But my boyfriend came out and saw me all wet and got even angrier. 

It was only a week or so later that my step dad took off back to Portland and my mom went looking for him. She found him at his ex's house but he was really sick. She took him to the hospital. Then she got sick enough to be hospitalized as well. While they were in Portland at the hospital I was staying at my grand parents and went on a date with my boyfriend. It was the night, I was going to finally have sex with him after dating for 2 months. He drove up into the mountains and we did it in his truck. It was quick to be sure and he said he had something in his eye right after and quickly dropped me off at my grand parents house. 

When I awoke in the morning, I learned my step father had died. He apparently was worried about my mom in the hospital so had checked himself out to go see her. He got worse and died. I felt guilty because I had wished him dead. My brother moved back in with us as mom had no excuse for leaving him with my father now. My brother had a truck so he would drive us to school. On my first day of school my brother told a few people it was my birthday and a girl came up and wished me happy birthday and she decided she was going to be my friend. When I got home that day my boyfriend called and told me he felt we should break up so I could enjoy high school and meet a boy there. I felt betrayed again. another boy who only wanted one thing, sex, and as soon as he got it, he was gone. I never saw hm again. 

At school the next day, I met a boy and he asked if I wanted him to show me around. We ended up under the bleachers and I tried to kiss him. He couldn't get away from me fast enough. He was the last high school boy I ever went out with. I rode the bus home and learned their were two girls my age that lived around the corner from me. one in each direction. So now, I had three new friends, one with a care who lived in town and the two in walking distance of me. We all became fast friends and went out driving around on the weekends. My brother started dating one of them and they dated for a little over a year. 

I had quit working at the restaurant as soon as school started so I had a lot of free time on my hands. I was in choir and the pianist was a boy a year older than I was. He was so cute and went to the same church my grandma always took us to. She I joined the church youth group. Unfortunately, although he never came out while I knew him, I realized quickly I was not his type.  But we remained friends over the next two years. I had a lot of HS crushes, but no HS boy I was interested in seemed interested in me at all. I had a lot of male friends but none I wanted to be with. I was always interested in older boys or the bad boy type. I frequently rode my bike over to the blimp hangers where to school for bad boys was and would arrange to meet boys at the movies. 

At some point mom found a new BF and we moved out near the fairgrounds. I was still handing out with my little group and a couple of guys had now joined our little hang out group. both were interested in me but I was not interested in them. I was very superficial back then and looks were very important to me. one of them I kind of liked but I could not get past his teeth. They were so crooked. The other boy was just not good looking at all. but we all had fun hanging out. My brother eventually joined the Navy (My sister was already in the Army stationed in Okinawa Japan. 

The summer before I turned 16 mom and her new boyfriend and I took a trip to Sacramento and picked up his 15 year old son. We really hit it off and were actually having sex in the back seat while they were driving. That continued for the couple of weeks he stayed with us and then he went home. Mom and the BF had moved a female room mate in to help with the bills. She was nice, she taught English as a Second Language (ESL) at the local collage annex. 

I dated a boy from another HS for a couple of weeks but as soon as we had sex he stopped calling. It seemed any boy I tried to be a girlfriend to only lasted a couple of weeks or until we had sex. Eventually, my mom was in a fight with the new BF and called the police on him. He beat her up pretty badly. We stayed the night on the beach that day and my mother confided in me a few things about the men in her life and what she had been through.

She talked about how my father had contracted with the mob for her to be a prostitute and how dad drive a taxi and would bring John's to her. She talked about how he sexually abused her and used items that had damaged her insides. Then she told me she did not think he was actually my father as she had cheated on him as a way to take control of her sexuality. May Aunt J later confirmed her story about the prostitution. I was an adult with my own children when my Aunt J told me we had been removed from our parents custody because of the prostitution and my sister later told me we grew up as wards of the state. The only reason we lived with our mother was because she had left dad and moved to Portland so our grandparents allowed us to go stay with her. 

She also introduced me to a man that night and said she thought he was actually my father. We moved into an apartment and he moved in with us immediately. Mom was working as a bartender at the time and was not home in the evenings. This man she thought was me father gave me speed while she was at work. I had a lock on my door and had locked myself in my room but noticed him trying to get in. It wasn't long before that guy was gone, mom said he left her for a 16 year old. Boy am I glad I had that lock. It was not long after that I woke up and went in the Livingroom to find 3 teenagers sleeping on our couch and a woman in bed with my mother. She claimed it was platonic and we were just helping them out.

Now I lived right downtown and my friends would skip school and come over to hang out while my mom was out. We would smoke pot and sometimes drink (They would I had already had a bad time once with alcohol). It was now the two girls that used to live near me a new girl and the two guys. We were always hanging out together. One day I was driving my moms car and we were all  having fun. I was on my way to pick up my mom from one of her jobs and I decided to show off and do a few donuts. But I heard a loud pop so drove right over to get my mom and let her drive. We barely made it home before the transmission died. I felt so guilty that my friends helped me run away. We went to Astoria and a lamented about PAF as he was the only guy that had not left me after sex. After only a day I went home but I never told my mom I blew out her transmission doing donuts.

The new girl was emancipated and had her own apartment. We would all go there and hang out. The guy with the crooked teeth was still trying to get me to be his girlfriend but I was not into it. However, one day I went over there and caught him in bed with one of the other girls. He later tried again to get me to be his girlfriend but I was like there in no way now. You slept with my friend.

It was shortly after that I got another job thru CETA at the Tillamook National Guard Armory as a secretary. So I did not have as much time to hang out with my friends. I also got braces as I had to pay for them myself. So between work and school I was pretty busy. Occasionally my friends would stop by but after the boy slept with my friend we kind of grew apart. 

Then one night I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I found my mother and the woman in the shower together. I think it was her embarrassment but she chased me into the kitchen and punched me in the face. I fell to the ground and she kept kicking me until I had a bruise the size of a grapefruit on my hip. The next day I didn't want to go to school as I had a black eye, a swollen lip, and that bruise on my hip. My friends skipped school with me and convinced me to report my mom. SO I went to my guidance counselor and told him what happened and he called Children's Protective Services. They removed me from the house and placed me in a foster home. However, two days later they gave me a choice, go back to live with mom or go live with my dad. I went home.  

Over the second half of the school year we moved into a bigger apartment to accommodate the additional 4 people. My birthday falls at the beginning of the school year and my mother had always said I could move out as soon as I graduated. So I petitioned the school board to graduate a year early. This meant I had to complete a year and a half of school in half a year. . My mom signed it agreeing to let me graduate early thinking it would take me another year to complete all the coursework. I stopped trying to have a BF and just randomly had sex with people. Working at the National Guard gave me plenty of options. I was in a couple of plays between Sophomore and Junior year. I really enjoyed the theater and dreamt of becoming a movie star. Then the school board agreed to let me graduate early. I took day and night classes and worked at the National Guard armory. I completed all of the work and graduated an entire year early. Originally I planned on going in the military and took the ASVAB placement test. I wanted to be a pilot. Unfortunately, I wore glasses and could not be a pilot. But my test showed I could be an airline mechanic. No thanks. I knew I wanted to travel so I found a college offering a degree in National Travel Accounting Administration. 

As I was getting ready to move back to Portland I ran into the boy with the crooked teeth. As a goodwill gesture I slept with him and then moved. 

Spiritual Growth: Channeled Message I just came across

 Hello, 

So I am finally working on clearing my space and going through old paperwork I have not touched in over three years and I came across this hand written letter that I have no recollection of writing.

The Letter,

It's happening again. I awoke in a DejaVu just like it always happens. I never know how long I will be awake so I want to leave an account of my time on this Earth. I have been here in this Earthing's body since her birth. If I had not joined with her, she and her mother would have died. Normally, I enter a comatose patient who's soul has already left. I am not the only species that observes the Earth in this manner and some who are here are not hear to help as I am. Because I entered this girl at the point of her death her soul is here as well. I am only able to become conscious when I have a mission to directly accomplish. As she has become older she has sought to learn the mysteries and has been more open to allowing me forward into her consciousness. Together we are here to help in saving the Earth and improving humanity. 

I have always been aware of everything this vessel has experienced throughout her life, yet have been forbidden to intervene except for in life or death situations. Normally, I would never need to intervene but for some reason this vessel is not meant to live as she has had to be saved often. When I chose to inhabit her, she was about to be born and was still in her mothers uterus. In other words the uterus had come out with the child still inside it. I was with my brothers and sisters watching through a portal awaiting my assignment. The doctor did not know what to do and was beginning to panic. They slapped the gas on the mom and put her to sleep. The nurse was on the phone trying to reach the head obstetrician for advice. The attending doctor suddenly made the decision to shove the uterus back into the mother. My brother told me to save the child as the mother could take no more loss. I was suddenly in the baby's body, I cried out so they would not give up. I am fully conscious and using the energy I can to keep us alive. I don't know how they got us out because the baby's consciousness woke up and took over the body for awhile.

End

It looks like my writing but more consistent as I tend to vary my style unintentionally. But the strangest pat of this is what happened when I did a QHHT session just a few weeks ago as the same scene was described then.

On November 14th, 2024, I underwent Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy (QHHT) During the session the first memory I was guided to was of my birth. I see my mother on the table, and I see her begin pushing and the uterus comes out. There is panic in the room. I see one doctor, two nurses, and one anesthesiologist. The Anesthesiologist puts a mask on my mother's face, and she goes to sleep. I see three Archangels in the room, and I become aware that the baby did not survive, but I am no longer the soul in the baby, I am one of the Archangels. Raphael asks me to go into the baby. He says the woman has suffered too much already and she could not take more loss. I am not happy about it, but I understand so I do. I am born shortly after. It is interesting to have this vison while under hypnosis as in 2019 I had been told that I was an Archangel incarnate when a gentleman measured my energy field with a device he had. 

Part Six: Age 14: Trigger warning: Sexual Content

Being alone like that can be hard, but for me it started to feel like I was living on my own. Aunt N worked evenings and didn't get home until after midnight most nights so I was pretty free to do as I pleased. I figured out that guys only wanted one thing and now that my innocence was taken I decided I could use that to my advantage. I continued looking into ESP and other ways I would be able to get what I wanted out of life. I continued to babysit and kept myself busy with that. I also found that the boys from school were fine hanging out with me and taking walks, again, as long as no one saw us.

I started hanging out at the building that had now undergone several business changes from the sewing shop my mom worked at to the YMCA and now it became a thrift store. But that is not where I was hanging out. The owners son had moved into the back of the building and I thought he was really cute so I was hanging around him. He wouldn't give in to my efforts as he felt I was really too young. But he was nice and I liked talking to him so I hung out there frequently. He was teaching martial arts in the back of the building. I met another girl where I was babysitting and we also hung out and made our plans to be rock stars. She was really cool but once I stopped babysitting there I never saw her again.

I also met another girl (MZ) at school and we started hanging out but then her mother met me and didn't want her to hang out with me. It really sucked that all these parents judged me even before I lost my innocence. It really made me feel isolated and like I was an undesirable person to be friends with. But her mom worked late hours too so we didn't let it stop us from hanging out. That is until I wasn't in walking distance to her house any more. But even after I moved we stayed in touch and as soon as I moved back we were back at having our shenanigans'. Just as a little feel good part of this story....I am still friends with the MZ to this day.

In my loneliness I watched a lot of movies and one of those movies was The Bell, Book and Candle. In the movie she used her familiar, a cat to cast a love spell. From that movie I got the idea to do a love spell to attract a boyfriend. I had this perfume called Love Spell, and I used that and my cat and cast the spell. 

Not long after, one day in late March while I was babysitting I saw a guy (PF) in the parking lot working on his car. He called out to me and started talking to me. I was flattered that he thought I was cute. He was 23 at the time. He asked why I was hanging out in the apartments and I told him I was babysitting. He made sure to chat with me the next few times I was there and then suggested he come over to the apartment and chill with me that night. I agreed and he came over. He brought wine, yes he knew I was 14. We kissed a bit but the 10 year old boy I was babysitting made sure nothing else went on. He suggested I come over to his place on a night I was not babysitting and the lady I was sitting for agreed to cover for me so I could spend the night with him. So I tell my Aunt N that I have to babysit all night and head over to his place. He has a friend from Seattle over but doesn't let that stop him from being with me. So while he and his friend are finishing dinner, I had already eaten, he suggests I go in and take a shower. When I am almost done he comes in and starts kissing me. We get in bed and he goes down to preform oral on me. I have never had this done and am not sure about it. Then he makes a comment about me being a natural blonde. This actually embarrasses me as I had been in the locker room and all the other girls had dark pubic hair but mine was light so in my mind I think I have still not matured yet. But he laughs and says no, it's a good thing and perfectly natural. Then he makes love to me. He is gentle and kind. What he didn't tell me was he and his friend had done mushrooms with their dinner so as soon as he finished he was tripping and went out to hang with his friend. 

Since my "spell" appeared to work I ordered the witchcraft mail order course by Gavin and Yvonne Frost. I began with the first installment. But was soon distracted by PF as we met a few times over the next few weeks, minus the mushrooms and his friend. 

But one morning Aunt N came looking for me and went to where I was supposed to be babysitting. The lady told her she must have missed me as she had sent me to the store. There were two ways to get from my house to hers and the store. Aunt N did not find me. But the next day she took me to finish out the school year at my Aunt J's house.

Aunt J

Aunt J

Cousin W

Aunt J and Uncle D had taken care of my siblings and I off and on throughout my life. I never could connect with Uncle D which made me feel like he didn't like me even if that was not the truth. He was never inappropriate with me. They had raised 5 children together and their youngest was two year older than I was. We both went to the same school but she would not be seen talking to me at school and barely talked to me at the house. We never rode to school together. My Uncle D was the band teacher to my high school as well and my Aunt J worked as a medical assistant. Aunt J was always very kind to me and showed me what a mother could be. Her house was always clean even when all five kids were at home. She was an inspiration to me. 

One day she let me ride one of the bikes to I rode all the way to the PAF's apartment, but he had gone out of town. You see I never had the chance to tell him why I stopped coming over. I left a message with a neighbor as the lady I babysat for had also moved. Towards the end of the school year my Aunt J took me to a graduation at the high school and gave me a dress I was really uncomfortable wearing, it was a wrap around dress and it would fly open. She gave me cheerleading undergarments to wear under it but I still felt exposed as I was the girl always hiding her chest behind books and dressing as unflattering as possible to avoid attention. 

Then I was moved to the coast to live with my mom and step dad. At least it was walking distance to my grandparents house. 

Grandma and Grandpa B's House

Part Five: Ages 12-14: Strong Trigger Warning

 My story continues. Okay, so back to having moved out from the “Aunt N” and now we have moved several times, but I really like the final house we move into. It has a nice yard and we each have our own rooms. Mine is small, but that is okay, I still like it. Mom started taking on more babysitting jobs and that is a little frustrating as I do not like some of what I am seeing her do with these kids, especially around potty training. But I am rarely home even at the young age of 10. I see a lot of memes out there about how my generation was tough. We drank from the hose, were out until the streetlights came on, and walked miles to school. It is funny because it was true. Life was better not living with “Aunt N” because we were not living in constant fear. We were still poor, and I can remember getting the food boxes from the USDA with cheese and other staples. Mom didn’t cook much but I can remember eating pancakes for over a month straight because it was all we could afford. Sometimes she did cook and taught me how to cook a few dishes.

I want to say it is not that I never had any friends. Throughout my childhood there were a few people who would play with me as long as I no one else was around to see them hang out with me. I guess I wouldn't call them friends as much as acquaintances. Any one I played with longer than a week or two seemed to move away or were too afraid to let our classmates know they played with me. I can remember going to some people's house in Willamina, Oregon. My brother had made friends with them and my mom was fine with me going to there house for a couple of weeks. On the way to their house their car broke down and I remember them having me stand on the side of the road and stick my thumb out for a ride. I was only 11 or 12 at the time. They had a son and a daughter and I had a lot of fun staying with them. The mother taught me how to make spaghetti and I have remembered that recipe ever since. I may have gone there twice but then never heard from them again. 

I used to go and stay the night occasionally with my friend LM. She had also moved and now lived near our new house. I remember one time I went to stay the night with her and her grandpa lived in an apartment a couple of doors down from her mother. For some reason they let us stay there by ourselves. I remember we were playing with our Barbies and we were pretending to make them have sex. Then we decided to see what the big deal was and we laid naked together and bumped up against each other. We concluded it was not enjoyable. Later that night we found her grandfathers Exlax. We thought it was chocolate. Big mistake. 
Soon after that my she moved away and I never heard from her again. I never had any interest in girls after that until much later. 

In 3rd or 4th grade I had another girl that like me to bring my Barbie collection over to play. But once someone else at school found out she stopped inviting me. In sixth or grade I made friends with this really nice girl, MR. She was a foster child and had a foster sister that was in the same grade. MR never stopped being my friend during the school year but her foster sister didn't like me. One day she decided to pick a fight with me but agreed to meet after school off school grounds. At the time I was 5 foot 8 inches. larger than most of the boys in our class and I weighed about 110 pounds. So I met her after school and a whole group of kids showed up to watch. I blacked out in the middle of the fight and all I can remember is being pulled off of her because I was choking her. A few weeks later they both stopped coming to school.

Around sixth grade I met another girl, LL, and we became friends but her parents didn’t like me either so I could only talk to her occasionally. Usually it was while I was walking by her house and we would talk over the fence but she was not allowed to actually play with me. I spent a lot of time walking around the neighborhood with my dog. My brother found a cabinet maker that started teaching him woodworking. I still go to my grandparents every summer. Grandma begins teaching me about gardening. I really enjoyed my time there. It is my safe place.

Between sixth and seventh grade I had my first boyfriend, CW. He is a friend of my brother and the older brother of one of my classmates I had a crush on. His family really liked us and took us to the beach with them. The mom also paid me to do her ironing for a little extra money. But, one day I overheard my brother and his two other friends talking about betting to see which of the three of his friends was going to get the farthest with me. I was devastated. Not only to learn I was part of some bet and that was the only reason the boy was even acting like my boyfriend but to hear my brother knew all about it was too much. So, I confronted my boyfriend and he said it was true, he was only being my boyfriend to win the bet. So, I walked away. I felt betrayed.

Around this time my mom took courses and became a Certified Nursing Assistant, CNA, working at Damasch State Mental Institution. So did her friend, my “Aunt N” so now I have even more freedom as my sister was hanging out with her friends and my brother was gone most of the time. One day I came home from walking my dog and my “Aunt N” and mom told me if I dressed the way I did I was going to get raped.

When I was twelve, I came home one day and my mother says my brother had to go live with my father, whom she has hidden us from for 6 years. Apparently, the man he had been going fishing and other adventures had been taking inappropriate liberties with him. This was very difficult for me as we were close. I really could not understand why he had to go live with my dad after my mom had told us for years how he had done inappropriate things to our older sister, so how was it okay now? I also now had to see this man, my father, with the knowledge of what he had done but act like I did not hear all the things my mom had told me about him and the abuse she endured as well.

Mom and “Aunt N” continue to go out for coffee frequently and one day my sisters’ friends were all over and my sister and several of her friends left to go do something, but one boy stayed behind. He was really cute and seemed nice. So, I was cuddling on the couch with him when my sister’s female friend, who my mother was having a relationship with, came back and found us. She basically threw him out of the house and told me I should not let older boys cuddle like that with me. This female was 15 at the time. My sister was still living with us until part way through my 8th grade year. My dad bought her a car soon after my brother went to live with him, so she was not around much anymore. She was always made to watch over my brother and I and that was not easy for her. It made it so she had to be mean, or she would pay for our mistakes. 

In 8th grade I made a new friend, ED, we are inseparable. I spend a lot of time at her house. Her mom smokes pot and so we start smoking it occasionally. The first time I smoked it was actually when I was 10 years old, so I am not new to it. I went to my grandparents’ house that summer and when I returned my friend had changed. She had a boyfriend who is a senior and had a car. At first this is cool; he picks us both up for school. He has a friend I think is really cute. So, for my 14th birthday, I had a couple of girls over and they thought it was lame that we couldn’t have any boys over. My mom agreed we could have a couple of boys over, so my friend called her boyfriend, and we went out to pick up the boys. But we were gone for so long my mom went to bed before we got back. I could tell I really disappointed her.

The day before my eight grade picture my sister and I got into a fist fight and it wasn't pretty. I actually have a scratch near my collar bone from that fight. She moved out shortly after our fight. I often wondered if I was partially responsible for her leaving.

Not too long after I started my Freshman school year I found another boyfriend, JS. We hung out for a few weeks, and I really liked him. He came over to ED's house and we were making out, but he wanted to go all the way and I wasn’t ready so he said okay. The next day at school I caught him making out with a girl, MN who was supposed to be my friend. Betrayed again. My other friend, ED saw how upset I was and talked her boyfriend into having his friend take us to the beach, skipping school. We went to the beach. Unfortunately, on the way back he got pulled over and received a ticket for speeding. We all forged notes for skipping school. The next day I am called into the principal’s office and confronted with my forged note. She also tells me she knows I skipped school with my friend and the two boys, but I deny it. I say I skipped it on my own because I was so upset. Later I get a call from my friend furious at my ratting them all out and telling me I am no longer her friend. I tried to tell her I did not say anything, but she cursed me and hung up. She would not talk to me after that. To add injury to insult not only did my mom ground me, but she also made me eat liver. It was so gross.

Later, during my freshman year I met another boy, DT,  that I liked, and my mother encouraged me to go out with him. He was in my cousins’ friends’ group and so my mom thought he would make me popular. So, I go out on my official first date. We went to a movie and after the movie he drove to a private place. I asked him why he was parking in this out of the way place and he tells me it is so we can make out. To me at this point I think this just means kissing. So, we start kissing and before I know it, he tries to take my clothes off. I tell him no and he says then get out and walk home. So, I did. When I finally got home my mom was pissed that I was so late. I told her what happened and all she could say was I must have led him on.

Shortly after this my mom stopped seeing my sister’s friend and she brought home this guy she met at the mental hospital. They get married shortly after. I got an after-school job through a program called CETA and work for the Army recruiting office as a secretary. I am 5’8” and 119 lbs. The guys in the office were very flirtatious but told me I should lose weight. They were constantly commenting on my figure and being inappropriate to a 14 year old. Worse, I babysat for one of these guys and knew his wife. 

I was still being picked on at school and hated riding the bus so I would often walk home. It was about a 3 mile walk and I would be tired between working after school and the walking. One day I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to my new stepdad leaning over me strangely. I told my mom about it but she just said he was worried that I had mono or something. But then I woke up one night and he was in my bed. He made some excuse that he mistook my room for my moms despite the 2 feet of junk on my floor compared to her clean floor. Again, I tried to tell my mom, but she waved it off again. In January of that year, they decided to move back to the coast near my grandparents. But after having him do those things I did not want to move with them and my “aunt” agreed to let me finish out the school year at her house. The day they were moving was my second attempt to leave this world by taking an entire bottle of aspirin. When they got back from the first load, I was not feeling well at all so my mom told me to walk to the doctors to see what was wrong. I did not tell them I took the aspirin, so they did some labs and sent me home.

So, I move in with moms’ friend “Aunt N.” She works evening shift, so I am pretty much alone most of the time. I have one friend, AS, that I must sneak around to see as her mother thinks I am a bad influence. You may be asking why she felt I was a bad influence. It was because I had a large chest and had hit puberty early. So, she judged me based on my figure and not by my actions. This is when I started noticing I could do things with my mind, especially when I got upset. My previous friend, ED, accused me of telling the principal about our day trip and then started spreading rumors about me all over the school. I was able to pass tests with A’s but really didn’t do homework or study much, so my grades began slipping. I also found a book on ESP and arranged to do a test with my friend, AS. The test was that I would go to her house in the astral form, and she was to tell me what time she felt me there. I did not tell her what time I was going to do it. I decided to visit her at 0200 and got ready for bed and set my intention. The next morning, she called me and said she had seen me at 0200 and I even touched the piano. Well, that was cool.

My Friend AS and me at age 14

One day I was walking in the hall and a girl was making fun of me and I turned and looked at her with the thought I wanted to hurt her in my mind, and she literally tripped up the stairs and broke her leg. I did feel bad as I didn’t realize that would happen. After that they spay painted that I was a witch all over the girl’s bathroom. Then I was in Physical Education (PE) and we had to play with the medicine ball, some of the girls decided it would be fun to hurl it at my face and it caused my neck to snap back leading to whiplash. I went to the doctor, and he prescribed some muscle relaxers. I also got a couple of days off work, so I was able to practice the techniques in the ESP book.

While I was off work, I received a call from a woman claiming she got my number from the couple I babysat for. She said it was her anniversary, and their babysitter could not babysit and would I please do it. She offered double the pay, which was a good amount. She said they wouldn’t be out late but had reservations at an expensive restaurant. I finally agreed and she said she would send her husband to pick me up. She even had my address already. About a half an hour later a nice-looking man came to my door and introduced himself and thanked me for being willing to babysit on such short notice. I got into the car, and he started driving. He offered me a little pot and since I was nervous about going with a stranger, I took some. It seemed like we had been driving for a very long time and had gone about 30 miles from my home. Then he said he needed to pick up something at a store really quick and stopped at a truck stop. Then he headed back towards the way we had come on the freeway. I few minutes later he said he really had to use the restroom and was going to stop at the rest area. As the car came to a stop the doors locked, and he grabbed me and started kissing me. I said no but he kept doing it. He pulled my pants off and pushed me down. He entered me and it hurt really bad. I kept saying stop it hurts so he turned me over and he sodomized me. I was trying to get out of the car, I can still see my hands clawing at the window. Then he grunted and got off me. He told me to put my clothes back on. Then he drove me back towards my house. When he was about 3 blocks from my house, he told me to get out of the car. I walked home all the while my mom and “aunts” words ringing in my ears. That if I dressed the way I did I would get raped. So, I had been abducted and taken over 30 miles from my home.  I had been Raped and Sodomized and I felt like it was my fault at the time. I got home and took a bath and cried. I guess I was lucky as he didn’t kill me.

The next night the man called me again. He talked to me like it had been a fun date, and he wanted to do it again. I screamed into the phone that it wasn’t a date, it was a rape and if he ever called again, I would call the police. Now I am upset and in my mind my virginity is now gone (I had not realized what had happened when I was 6 actually had taken my virginity). So, I decided to go seduce the 19-year-old at the local market as I had been flirting with him for months, but he always said he would not take my virginity. So, I got dressed up and went there near closing time. I told him I was no longer a virgin and that I wanted to be with him like that. At first, he didn’t want to, but I kept trying. When the store closed, he chuged a couple beers and agreed. He took me to the storeroom and there on the cold concrete floor he took me. It was short and awful. Then he got off me and told me to leave and never talked to me again. That felt worse than the rape the night before.

I tried to call my friend, AS, but her mom answered and wouldn’t let me talk to her. So, I went home and took the whole bottle of muscle relaxers and drank a bunch of wine. I was starting to feel all warm and fuzzy when my AS called. I told her about the rape and the store guy and then she heard a slur in my words and asked why and I guess I told her. The next thing I know is my “Aunt N” is home and taking me to her parents’ house to watch me and make sure I don’t pass on. My friend, AS,  had her mom call my “Aunt N” to report my attempt. How sleeping on her parents’ couch was going to ensure my safety I am not sure. She never even woke them up to check on me. She had gone back to work. I have never been taken to a mental health doctor despite it being my 3rd attempt to end my life.

My next couple of months were miserable, now I am worried that I got pregnant as my period is late. I even started to attempt a coat hanger abortion. But is too painful and I stop. Luckily my period came a day later. Because of my attempt at leaving this plane ASs’ mom will not let her answer the phone and I am never able to see her again. She was still in eighth grade so I couldn’t see her at school. I am more alone than ever. She did call me once after I married my first husband and had moved to Seattle. She was living with her father now in Canada somewhere. She never called again after that day not long after my 18th birthday.

Well, that is enough for today, it is really a lot.

Blessings of light, love, peace, happiness, health, and abundance to each of you.

Sheri

Part Four: 8 - 11 years old

Dear brothers and sisters,

I will continue my story.  My mother had just lost her partner and now we are moving in with her friend that has the Doberman who bit me while camping. The neighborhood we moved into was primarily African American in North Portland as this was the late 60’s and although segregation was ending, attitudes remained. I spent that year in fight or flight mode. My brother and I were at one school whilst my sister was at another. I can remember having to run home every day because if I were caught, I would be in a fight. The teachers were no better. They made it noticeably clear that my kind (White) was not welcome. There were some good things too. My brother, age 8, was able to sweep up a business around the corner each day for a little money and all the unflavored corn puffs we could want. There was a park within walking distance, and not only did it have a pool, but it had equipment you could check out to use while in the park. But I was still dealing with living with the dog that had bitten me. That and mom's new friend was mean to all of us kids. I now call her my "Aunt N" as she remained friends with my mom even after we moved away from her years later. They remained close up until my mothers passing and I still try to call her weekly.

I realize up to now this story does not sound too miraculous other than I am still here and have learned many things throughout my life. But there are miracles coming. I would say that the male voice telling me to leave the house when I was six, so I did not get shot, was a miracle though. I need to back track just a little to living in the first house with my mom's friend “Aunt.” While we were living there, we were still visiting my dad regularly. He lived on a farm and had a few horses. For some reason he thought it was appropriate for us to watch the pony try to mate with the horse. I have very few memories of being around my father up to this point. The memories I have are of disappointment. Christmases and birthdays with not even a card. But then my sister accused him of molesting her, and we were no longer allowed to see him. My mother even had us start using her maiden name and tried to hide us from him when we moved to the new house. After that, my mother forgot we were children and subjected us to hate speech and tried to convince us of how evil he was.

One day during the summer before I turned 7 was playing in the pool at the park and having fun. My sister started chasing me and I tried to climb out of the pool. She grabbed my ankles pulling me back in, but I landed my teeth on the concrete side of the pool breaking my two front teeth off at sharp angles. Mom took me to the dentist and they put these metal baskets on them This has been a sore point for me all my life and why I do not like to show my teeth when I smile. Probably the grossest part of this incident was when we went back to the pool a few days later my teeth were still floating in the gutter of the pool. We only had to live in that neighborhood for less than a year before my “Aunt” bought a house in a different area.

My mom was sick a lot throughout her life, so I spent a fair amount of time at my real Aunts or my Grandparents house. When I was 7, I was staying with my Aunt J, and she took me to her friends, and I was in their pool on a floatation device because although I spent a lot of time at the pool I had still not learned to swim. I fell off it and I was drowning. My Aunt J had to jump in and save me.

I loved the area we moved into right up until I started school. I had hoped I would have more friends now that we moved but I only found one person (LM) that would hang out with me and play. As I said earlier, we were extremely poor, we were on welfare. Mom was depressed as anyone would be after watching their partner unalive themselves. My “Aunt N” was paranoid about everything. Neither of them knew how to nurture the three of us kids. Laundry did not get done very often and so I smelled. So, I became the picked-on girl in my grade which led to even my one friend not spending time together with me very often. 

Mom brought home a stray dog and her litter of puppies, and she became my constant companion. She was with me until I became an adult. She also came forward in a mediation to meet my guides and identified as being my joy guide. Her name is Trish. 

Lots of things happened in this house we moved into. We had a pair of horse statues that would keep changing legs. This really scared my “Aunt N” so there was a lot of spiritual cleansing and burying of those horses. But the activity continued. We also had a lot of animals, 2 monkeys, a peacock, chickens, cats, dogs, fish. At age 8 I had a stranger come up to me at the school and asked me to keep lookout for him while he masturbated on the school door, something I should not have seen at age 8, but he paid me $5.00 so I did. 

Life in our new house was not too bad as far as that goes. I was not in fight or flight all the time anymore. I hated going to school not because I did not like to study but because of being picked on all the time. But the neighborhood was good, and we had a lot of freedom as my mother would go up to the local restaurant for hours having coffee and we pretty much did what we wanted. We just had to be home by dark. We lived much closer to one of my mother's sisters (Aunt J) so occasionally we would get home and be in trouble because our aunt had seen us out doing something she did not think we should and would tell our mother. I had my dog Trish, and she would follow me everywhere. She was a beautiful white Shepard with golden tips. She would climb up the stairs to the slide and slide down behind me and climb the ladder up to the roof and bark at people as they passed by. She brought me much joy. The other animals were fun too, I was in the Rainbow girls club and when we went out to sell candy we would take the monkey, I sold so much candy and they did not even take the candy most of the time, they just wanted to see the monkey.

As I mentioned before, we were extremely poor. When I was Nine, my brother had talked the local drug store into letting him do a few chores for a little extra money. I kept going with him and so they let me dust the shelves for a little money too. My first “job.” At ten I started babysitting. I did that for a few years. Meanwhile my brother started mowing people's lawns and I would also go with him eventually taking over his lawn business after he taught me how to do it. He also found a local carpenter that was teaching him some woodworking skills. So, the two of us have always been industrious and found ways to make money. We both had paper routes and collected bottles for money.

Mom also picked up some under the table money at a local sewing shop and we got to go there with her. They also packaged pantyhose, and I was taught how to do this and made a little money from that. But it closed and for a little while it became a YMCA type of place we could go to and hang out. I learned to play pool there and we did things like paper drives. One of the counselors there asked me a question I will never forget though. He thought my flirtatious nature was me wanting that kind of attention and he propositioned me. I was eleven, I said it was not an invitation, and he dropped it. I do not know why but I never told anyone about it to make sure he did not hurt anyone in the future.

School was okay, I got good grades, unfortunately that made me a further target of being called the teacher's pet. I was not good at sports and dreaded having to do physical education. At one point we were learning to play softball and of course I was always picked last. So, the teacher tried to show me how to swing the bat and ended up smacking me in the forehead with it causing me a concussion.

When I was 10, I woke up during the night and my stomach hurt so bad, I could not sleep, but I was afraid to go wake up my mom, so I laid there all night. In the morning, I told my mom I did not feel well and had a really bad stomachache. But I never wanted to go to school and said I was sick a lot, so she made me go to school. At school all I could do was lay my head on the desk and cry. When it was time for recess the teacher came over and asked why I had not gone out to play and I told her I felt sick. So, she sent me to the nurse's office, and I had a fever of 103.8F°. She spent the next 3 hours trying to find my mother to get me. Mind you my mother did not work at the time. So, mom finally picks me up and takes me to the doctors where they determine I have acute appendicitis and need surgery. So, she drove me to the hospital. I go in for surgery and the doctor starts giving me the medicine telling me it will make me sleepy, About 10 minutes later he gives me a little more as I am still wide awake, a few minutes later the doctor doing the surgery looks at him and asks why I am still awake, he says he's already given me more than I should have needed but agrees to give me a little more. I still have not gone to sleep. She he gives me a little more than tells me to just listen to them talk while I count backwards, I distinctly remember thinking well that is going to be boring, I am just going to go to sleep then. My next memory is of floating above my body watching my appendix burst as they pull it out of me and a bunch of commotion. Then I am in the hall above my mother, and she is crying hysterically. I am conscious of not wanting to hurt her and fighting my way back to my body. However, after my mother passed, I had an incredible experience I will tell later but my memory expanded to a part that had been hidden from me all those years. I went into the light and met a Christlike being. He told me it was not my time but that because I had come into the light, he had a job for me later. I was to help lost spirits cross over. Then I was back in by body. Children are so cruel though. When I went back to school some of the boys started calling me fat because my belly was still bloated. I was very thin at that age. But from then on, I thought I was fat because of what they said and have had self-image issues ever since.

During the time between 3rd grade and 5th grade we were still living with moms’ friend the “Aunt N.” There were a lot of control issues and a lot of emotional abuse and neglect. At the same time my brother and I became entrepreneurs, not only working at the local drug store, mowing lawns, and babysitting but also running a Kool-Aid/lemonade stand in the summers.

It was also a period where my anger was out of control. I once broke my mother’s sewing scissors in one hand (that got me in a lot of trouble). After that I was told to take my anger out on the unwanted bamboo grove in the yard. I don’t know if you have ever tried to pull bamboo up, but they are nearly impossible to pull out. I was nine years old…. there is no bamboo left in that yard. I was quite strong for my age, easily carrying 50-pound bags of concrete by age 10. It is also my first attempt at leaving this planet taking a knife to my wrist. My sister happened to walk in and stop me. I felt so alone and different from everyone even in my own family. I was close with my brother but that was because our mom made him responsible for looking out for me.

Another memory about this time frame just surfaced. My mom started letting older kids hang out at or house to “foster” them, but it was unofficially. One of these teenage boys wanted to teach me how to give a massage and I seemed to have a natural talent for helping relieve people’s pain. At first it was innocent enough, but one time no one else was around and he asked me to do things I knew I should not do. He took my no answer, but it made me very uncomfortable. I told my mom, and she made all these kids go back to their homes. But at the same time she made me feel like it was my fault for letting him teach me how to give a massage as I “made myself available” to him. At this time in my life looking back at all these times when I received inappropriate attention from males, and I can only wonder if the light I was born with draws attention to me not only from spirits but from the living as well. I don’t know if that is the answer or not, but it would make sense. Especially during the darker periods when I was lost and denied any of it happened at all.

In fifth grade, mom decided she had had enough of living with our “Aunt N" and we moved out. I was really excited at first as we moved into a different school district. So, I am thinking I will get a fresh start. No one will know me, and I will not be getting picked on all the time. No such luck, it was not long before someone who knew someone heard about my nickname, and it started all over again. Then we moved again, and I was back at my old school again. We moved four times that year, but I only changed schools twice.

I was still going to my grandparents for the summers and in my tenth year we were at the fair like we did every year, and I was on a spinning ride, and I hit puberty while I was wearing white pants. I went to my grandma as no one told me I was going to have a mess to deal with when puberty hit, and she thought it was funny but got me what I needed, which was a bit mortifying as it was the way it was dealt with in the old days. Not the store-bought version. One of my favorite parts of the summers at grandma and grandpa's was going to the Tillamook County Fair in August. At about 11 or 12 they started letting us work in the game booths so I was able to earn a little fair money. My mom even worked for them one year and we followed the fair from Tillamook to Canby.

Well, this is a good stopping place for today. More to come.

Blessings of light, love, peace, happiness, health, and abundance to my brothers and sisters.

Sheri

Part Three: Age 4-6: Big trigger warning

 Hello brothers and sisters,

My story continues, we lived in that house until I was six. During my years there I was drawn to collecting stones and would collect them and then try to sell them to the neighbors. I also committed my first crime; I stole candy from the local market and got caught. I am glad I got caught as it made me never want to do it again.

I can remember always being boy crazy. I went to one of my brothers’ friends and his friend has a deaf brother who apparently liked me. He showed me this by climbing up a ladder and peeing on my head. I ran all the way home crying and mom put me in a bath. I remember using so much soap that my private area began burning. Another time the little boy across the street convinced me to look at his penis under the canopy. But the worst thing regarding that was the 13-year-old boy that convinced me to “Play" with him under the cherry tree behind our house. He molested me. I do not remember if he penetrated me, but I believe he did. I have held so much guilt over that my whole life because I had agreed to go down there to hang out with him and my sister liked him. However, I did not know that was what he meant by play.

My last day in that house was my first experience with clairaudience. I remember being out in the neighborhood and handing out flyers for some of my mom’s friends that were opening a pet store. But I got bored and went home. I thought my brother and sister were also out passing flyers, but my sister was at that boy’s apartment and my brother says he was at a friend’s. As I approach the house, I see my mom’s friend (the one with the Doberman) on the porch and I am told to go to the kitchen. As I get to the kitchen A male voice in my right ear tells me “Go out the back door and around to the front of the house NOW! So, I did. As I reached the front yard my mother and her friend (Later to be called Aunt) came running out frantically saying go find your brother and sister. From here I heard 3 different stories. My mother’s version: She was planning on leaving her girlfriend and when she tried to tell her they were in the bedroom and her girlfriend pulled out a gun and aimed it at her and they struggled with it, it went off. Had I still been standing in the kitchen the bullet would have hit me. The girlfriend turned the gun on herself and committed suicide. My “Aunt’s” version: The two of them had told the GF in the living room that mom was leaving her, the GF went into the bedroom, and they heard the gunshot, and my mother went in to check on her and found her. My actual Aunt, whom we went to her house after the incident says my mother told her that she was alone with the GF and had struggled with the gun and then the GF turned it on herself. She also mentioned my mother had not called the police before bringing us over to her house. At any rate I was interviewed by the police since I had been at the house, and I remember telling them about the voice telling me to leave.

We then moved into the “Aunts” house. Shortly after we moved there my spirit friend took me on a train to a place, I now believe may have been purgatory or waiting place. It was a long, long hallway with thousands of people. They were all just standing there. We came upon my uncle that I had loved dearly, and I knew he was okay. Then we came upon my mothers GF and I saw she was okay. I did not see my spirit friend again until recently when she stepped forward and introduced herself as one of my guides and finally told me her name, Emily.

Okay, this is another good stopping point, this one is a lot to take in.

Love, Light, Peace, Happiness, Health, and Abundance to each of you lovely souls

Sheri